Men today are unsure of themselves. They haven’t found footing within themselves. They aren’t a higher power in they minds.
A man is direction. He is an arrow. He is pointed somewhere, forward, back or down.
A man is decisive. He always decides. Sometimes he decides slowly, sometimes he decides quick, sometimes he lets the others decide or fate decide. But he decides.
A man is dominant at his decisions. He may be like me at times, dominant at laziness. A professional lazy.
I could take all of the qualities that I have that I enjoy and push them beyond what others are doing and what is actually just the traditional role, I can become infinitely more valuable to those around me and infinitely more enjoyable in the higher pursuit of self.
If a woman says I have a good smile, my smile may be at a 79. Think of all the things that go into a smile. Whitening strips. How long you hold the smile. Eye contact during the smile. Smile or smirk. Is there laughter built beyond the smile. Is the smile of flirtatious smile or a smile of approval or a smile of delight or even a sad smile. Is there a special smile I pull out for the ladies that gets them warm? Is there another smile I use to relax women and what voice and what eye contact and what movements are coupled with that smile? Should a man smile during sex? I think so. I think when a woman takes off her clothes for the very first time or the very first few times a man has to let her know he is excited and enjoying everything that he's seeing.
Money is not a direction or decisive or dominance. Money is a thing outside of yourself that women can also spend and obtain. If a woman can have it, it ain’t masculinity.
The choice to pursue money is noble but it should be something that you desire and want to turn into your 99. Not for women. Let me repeat that, never to get or to have or to keep women. Be willing to buy your private island for you and just you.
But the key to that phrase is “not for women.” Too many times I have done things so women will like me. Dinner, for dates, lift weights, jogging. Laughing and making jokes or over laughing at jokes that weren't funny. I didn't like me at all, I wasn't rushed for the sake of self. I wasn't even Russ for the sake of bettering or being a good part of humanity. I was simply Russ to get women or get approval.
But if I have myself for myself, I can maximize my qualities for my enjoyment. A side result will be that people will enjoy my authenticity and honesty and passion for life. That will attract people around me and inevitably attract women. More importantly it should attract the kind of women I want to enjoy in my life.
If I have decided my direction, fuck everyone else. I have I am decisive, I believe in me and didn’t ask permission. If I seek to be dominant, it means other people are left behind, lower than me and will be angry with me for outdoing them. You gotta be built for dominance.
Everything comes at cost.
I don't believe in contemplating my direction forever and ever and ever. Too much hesitation leads to doubt, doubt to laziness, laziness to sloth and sloth to wasted years. I must push and I should be trying to push quickly and daily.
I should seek to dominate and gather as much information and skill as I can in pursuing the direction I have desired. Of course my desired direction will have multiple attributes I have to pick up along the way. If I wanted to be a basketball player for instance, it's more than just shooting. It would be cardio and dribbling and situational awareness and defense and proper technique and coaching and mentorship and practice and eating right and a whole bunch of other things I haven't listed. So becoming a 99 at basketball is going to be difficult and slow and at times it's going to feel like I'm going backward. But that goes back to my clear direction and my decisiveness in my direction.
Let's take a simple interaction with a woman for her phone number. Directionless might sound like this:
“Hey, what’s up, you looking good.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m Russell.”
“I’m Tenisha.”
“That’s what’s up, (compliment one) You live around here?”
“I’m from the west side.”
“Oh, West Side, cool, that’s what’s up. (compliment two) What you do for a living?” (where we headed with this and how long will it take?)
“I own my business, do some modeling, too.”
“Oh, yeah, modeling, you definitely cute enough to be that. (compliment three) Can I get your number?”
“Why should I give you my number?”
“I’m trying to holler, what else?”
“You right. But I have a boyfriend.”
“You sure? Okay, all right.”
Or a more directed, decisive and dominant route:
“Hello, how are you? I can see you’re busy but I’d like a moment of your time.”
“I’m very busy.”
“I understand. I was shopping for sneakers and I saw you and I didn’t want to let you pass by without introducing myself. I’m shopping for a new pair of basketball shoes for the summer, so I listen clean when I’m dunking on fools. My name is Russell, tell me your name.”
“Tenisha.”
“Tenisha, that’s like a remote exotic island. Look, Tenisha, I happen to know the second best martini bar on my side of the city, and I’d like you to join me so we can continue this in a more relaxed, private environment and I can give you a real reason to smile Do yourself a favor, put my number in your contacts and when you’re ready to have a great time, dial your man up and I’ll take it from there.”
“That’s nice, but I actually have a boyfriend.”
“I appreciate you being up front about that, I find honesty very attractive. You can still put my number in when a better opportunity opens up to have a great time opens up for you.”
I'm not saying that's God-level game or something that you should copy and add to your repertoire. But it has a sense of direction, it communicated decisiveness and I went after what I wanted which was for her to join me and enjoy a great time together. Now if I carry it right, dark but clear smooth clean voice, great eye contact, good style, looking healthy, I should like betting on myself to produce good interactions. Notice I didn't say it's a numbers game and I'm hoping to produce numbers. I'm trying to produce positive, great dope interactions.
My current confidence might be at a 74. But refining and choosing a decisive direction and seeking to work hard and work daily and work smarter and try different and new things and bumped my head against the ceiling might turn me to a 75 in the next two months. All things are worth the time you've put in them. Only you can decide what that direction is worth in terms of hard work and studying and effort and also your time and your energy. But it's far better than letting others lead you mindlessly or standing pat or whining about femininity or the liberals or female nature.
So, let's get busy.
For you. And only you.
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